My daughter is 10 years old. She’s a smart, sensitive little girl who loves stories and games—and, of course, like most kids, she’s curious about the online world. She recently downloaded a popular social game onto her phone where she can chat with other players and complete missions together.

After a while, she started talking about a new “girlfriend” she plays with regularly. She was kind and thoughtful, always messaging her and helping her with the game. My daughter happily talked about her, and it seemed she was becoming very attached to her.

The profile didn’t have a picture, but that didn’t bother my daughter. She said the person was probably just shy. However, their conversations grew longer—and more personal. It started to seem suspicious that the person was writing in a very mature way, sometimes as if an adult were writing. In particular, it struck me that the “girlfriend” talked a lot about parents, loneliness, and things that a 12-year-old doesn’t usually dwell on.

One time, after my daughter had fallen asleep, I started reading through the messages. The person was empathetic and polite, but he was building trust in a way that felt too calculated. He wasn’t threatening, but the whole conversation gave me the feeling that he wasn’t being his true self. After a while, there was no doubt about it: he wasn’t talking to a child.

We locked the door, I reported the incident, and we had a long talk with my daughter. It was hard to make her understand that it’s not always the person who yells or makes threats who is dangerous—but rather the one who slowly and gently erodes boundaries.

Lesson learned – how can this be prevented?

This incident taught me something: in the digital world, you shouldn’t automatically assume that something is harmless just because it doesn’t contain profanity or threats. Most online predators use the guise of friendliness.

What every parent can do:

• Know what and with whom your child is playing —don’t just know the app’s name; take a look at how it works.
• Talk to them regularly about their online experiences—not just when there’s a problem.
• Teach them not to share personal information with strangers, and to always let you know if something seems strange.
• Don’t judge them when they open up—because then they’ll turn to you again next time.

Our children aren’t to blame for trusting people. It’s up to us adults to help them learn that not everyone in the online world is who they say they are.